


Absence

by Magiciseverything



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: absence makes the heart grow fonder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-05
Updated: 2013-05-05
Packaged: 2017-12-10 12:43:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 599
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/786174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magiciseverything/pseuds/Magiciseverything





	Absence

He hadn't seen him in months. This was probably the first time he'd gone so long without Remus since Azkaban. He missed him with an intensity that almost scared him. Why the hell was he feeling like this all of a sudden? Although...the more he thought about it, the more he realized...it wasn't so sudden after all. With each passing day without him, Sirius was realizing something. He _loved_ Remus. Had always loved him. He'd really known that all along, but he'd tried to explain it away. Remus was his best friend, almost a brother... They'd been through so much together. Of course he loved him. Just not like that. Not how he should. 

Sirius wanted to be the one who greeted Remus when he came home from work each night. He wanted to make him breakfast in the morning and wake him with a soft kiss. He wanted to spend every night in Remus's bed, entangled in his arms.

What did it matter what Sirius wanted, though? If Remus didn't want the same....If Remus said no....And yet....And yet he had to try at least...He couldn't hide behind lies and secrets. He had to tell Remus soon or the silence might kill him. And there was always a chance that Remus could...just maybe...feel the same.

* * *

 

It wasn't until a month later that Remus Lupin arrived, breathless and flushed in Sirius's home. Even still, Sirius was prepared. He could tell him the truth. They were alone and Remus would listen.

The werewolf swayed on his feet for a moment as Sirius led him over to a seat and came back with a drink for him.

"So what've you been up to, Moony?"

Remus smiled, taking a large quaff of firewhiskey. "Recruiting. Not much luck."

"I want to tell you something..."

"Wait...I have to say something that was bugging me the entire time I was gone...I...I saw so much death, Padfoot...There were so many people who didn't get a chance. I don't want to have any regrets. I felt like a piece of me...was missing while I was gone...and I thought...I could die any day...So I got this..." He held up a small leather box.

Sirius's eyes went wide. "For  _me_? Merlin, Remus...I...I..."

"I'm being serious here." Remus wet his lip, looking down at the box as Sirius attmepted to hide the sting of Remus's words. Of course he didn't feel the same... "It's... for Tonks...I wanted your permission...As you're her family and quite like my family as well...do you think...we could work? I just don't know...But I wanted to have it...just in case."

"You...love her, do you?"

"Yes...I really do."

"Then go for it, Remie. No regrets." He offered him a smile.

* * *

 

_A few monts later_

Sirius laughed, looking up at Remus as they fought the Death Eaters. This was too easy...too... He had only a moment to register the shock as Bellatrix's spell hit him squarely in the chest. He seemed suspended for a second, seeing only Remus before falling slowly into the void. He never returned.

 

I'm sure you know that Remus did indeed use that ring. Sirius's words had been fresh in his mind when he did. "No regrets." If only he'd followed his own advice. Now it was too late...But at least Moony would be happy. At least Moony would be with someone he loved. This was his last thought before he was dragged into an unending sleep.


End file.
